Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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