how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
