But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
my liver is dry heaving
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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