He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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