He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
