Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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