Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
