i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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