Where did you get a picture of my penis
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
