Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
