so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
