Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
