Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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