my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
