Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
