yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's always time for handjobs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
