I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
