He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
