Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
