Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
