So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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