When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
