remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
