U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
