My brain says no but my pants say off.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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