Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Congratulations! We have a period
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
