I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
