She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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