Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
