That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize