But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
