A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
