your room smells of hookers.
And success
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
