Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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