idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
