I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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