It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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