If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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