Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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