i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
