I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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