Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
