Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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