I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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