i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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