You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
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Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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