He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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