come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
