WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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