Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize