I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize