I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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