I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
