Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Quick, to the slutcave!
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I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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