why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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