Nicole vs. Life
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
