i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
