none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You work out of a Hotel?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
