you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
